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Doping Around

September 22, 2013

     I like to let my mind wander.  You know, just walk around the backyard letting my thoughts go where they will.  I’ve spent most of my life doing this which explains, I assume, my overwhelming lack of real accomplishment, but this is my great addiction.
     I call this doping around, the title derived from the archaic name for finding an answer: doping it out.  You could also say that I’m the dope and I’m around.
     There is a vague belief in me that this is the way you really figure things out is to throw the gates between fact fancy open and let them out to wander about bumping into each other and bounce off in new directions.  Like most beliefs, I have no hard facts to support this.
     Maybe no good will ever come of it, but at least no evil ever has or is expected.  I believe that the best you can do in this life is to do more good than bad, but consider myself neutral.  Opted out you might say.  This seems to come natural to me and is unstudied though it is similar to what the Buddhist and Taoists call retiring from life.  These guys mean removing yourself from the world of woes and devoting yourself to higher thoughts. 
     I make no such claim.  I don’t know that I’d recognize a higher thought if it knocked on the door and tried to sell me insurance.  There’s much nonsense in there, picked up over the years and I just sort of let it drift along.
     Nor is this meditation.  In meditation one attempts to empty their mind and I do no such thing.  I merely take the leash off and let the notions slip and see what sparks they throw off when they collide. 
     Neither is it daydreaming.  I’m not dreaming of anything and there’s no scenario or plot in the affair.  Just free lance cogitation without organization or discipline.
     By all community standards it is definitely a waste of time, but then I usually find the community full of gossip, bad ideas and other crap and pay it little heed.  I’ve found little practical good in my mental sauntering and my family can attest to this.  You don’t rack up many split level ranch houses or Lincoln limos doing this.
     It is as unfocused and free as I am capable of and suits me well.  Now at my advanced age (62) time is running out and you’d think I’d be compelled to use it more wisely but, in fact I drift more than ever and like to believe the afterlife is similar.

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