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This New Idea I Was Proud Of Until It Turned Out To Be Decades Old

July 30, 2011

Damn it to hell.  Here I was pleased and proud with what I thought was a new idea when I decided to read Colin Wilson’s “Beyond the Outsider,” a book that’s been around the house for years, but I never did read, and found there my new idea, all wrapped up and ready to ship.  He had it a couple decades ago and had it further developed than I’ve gotten and backed up with quotes and cites and all kinds of fancy scholar crap leaving me, once again, squatting here feeling all sorry and second rate.

This has happened to me often enough that you’d think I’d be used to it.  Partly my fault.  Apparently I haven’t been reading enough or the right things.  I have found myself shifting priorities more to the philosophic which is an area where I’ve read little and am trying to catch up.  The problem I have is these boys had a lot of good ideas but not the greatest skill at writing them down.  It is often hard going and I have trouble reading unstyled and stilted writing, now matter how good it is for me.  My normal lack of self discipline is at work here.

You have to do your homework, especially in writing if you have any respect for yourself and the work and it does prevent you being caught out and proven a fraud by someone who’s actually read the material.  I know that.  I’ve always known that, but then I’ve always been lazy too.

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