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A Blurred Vision

July 3, 2011

It was my lot, once upon a time, to spend seven days in a coma.  I do not remember anything about my stay, or when I went in or when I came out again.  But there is one odd, incomplete memory that remains and won’t go away.


I saw something.  In my hospital room standing by the door.  A vaguely human shaped column of light.  It was brilliant but not glaring.  I could look at it directly without discomfort.  And it was comforting.  That’s all.  It didn’t speak to me or teach me or tell me any secrets, it was just there and I saw it and, out of that week, it is the only thing I remember, it and its effect on me.  I can’t remember coming to or waking up or whatever you call it.  I can’t remember going home.  I do remember that I came back into the world feeling just fine.  Feeling that there was nothing to worry about and it all would turn out well.


This is not how my brain works.  I’m always seeing the dark side and optimism isn’t a common experience for me.  The closest thing to this I have experienced were the two times I was absolutely convinced I was going to die and right now.  I felt, at those times, a deep and fearless serenity.  I had done all I could and it was out of my hands.  I had no worries.  I’ve not found that serenity again in life or love, in meditation or the bottle.


I am not attached to any particular dogma, not enough to describe this as an angel, spirit helper or extra terrestrial.  Just a light, over there by the door, that made me fill good and impress a memory that survived a stroke and coma.


This is not an explanation, only an observation.


From → unexplained, vision

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